Earlier today, I posted this BuzzFeed parody on BuzzFeed, because I wanted to create a black hole on the internet. Within 15 minutes, it was deleted and I was banned from the site, because it was “mean-spirited,” according to their community editor.
Thankfully, “The Story Of Egypt’s Revolution In Jurassic Park Gifs” remains available to the world.
I love Joe Veix
Person stalking me, responds to Wilfredo (I think). If you see him call the police. #serious
Hi guys, sorry I wasn’t more specific before, I’ve been running around. Here come the full story (quickly):
In 2004 or so I met this person briefly after an improv show I had in Caracas, he immediately started emailing me and going to shows I had all around town. As a performer I, of course, promote my shows so anyone can find me anytime. At first it seemed normal, I even replied some emails he had sent me, no different than other people who had sent me emails, the improv show I was in was pretty big in my city (400 people venue sold out three times a week six to nine months every year for several years) and I was receiving a lot of fan mails and friend requests online I had decided that it would be good karma to respond to everyone and at least say thank you and remember their names. This was no different than many other emails… for a while.
Later, near the time in which I decided to come to NY, this person contacting me and showing up in places had become a problem. He seemed to need more time and attention, to come to every show and to ask me things like “Do you have a car here?” and “can I get a ride?” and then “Why are you mad at me?” “Can we talk?” (this man is a stranger) he would also consistently ask me out on drinks or ask me to talk aside after my shows, he’d wait alone outside for a long time as I was picking up my wardrobe or getting out of make up, etc. Then my theater friends consistently had to scort me out. I was directing a weekend play, acting in a matinee musical and doing my improv shows late at night at the time and he would show up in a lot/most of these events. He came to shows and expect me to address him afterwards every time. He would mumble nonsense and ask me out over and over despite my repetitive rejections and literally telling him he needed to stop coming to so many shows because, frankly, he was starting to freak me out. He would also send me an overwhelming amount of emails on a daily bases, so many I had to close my old email account.
The first time I told him to stop I felt like a dick, you know “Oh there’s a fan, I’m no one really but here I am telling him to go away instead of being thankful, I’m a pretentious crap” so I was nice for a long time, more than I was comfortable for, but I finally got the point I had to say something, over and over again… At first it felt like he thought ALSO “she’s a dick, I can’t believe it” and I felt guilty but he wasn’t stopping, in fact he did MORE and it was too much and very scary.
I finally moved to NYC and he kept contacting me, at first very angry that I had moved and calling me a traitor. Thankfully it slowed down a LOT and I lost contact with him for almost two years but two years ago I started receiving emails from him again. All is if it had never stopped and his anger got worse. I think he might have thought we had a back and forth relationship and me not answering was the same as answering. He found me on Facebook. He would open profiles, email me something really hateful and scary, threats (as if we’ve had a love relationship for years and now i was in bad terms) and then close the profiles, I blocked I don’t know how many of his profiles and changed my name and security options on my Facebook account. Based on some of his emails I have reasons to believe he came to NY in 2010 or 2011 and I was terrified. I got a pepper spray and warned the Theatre and the police. I never saw him but he made it sound as if he was here.
As I was looking for ways to let him know he needed to stop I remembered that MAYBE we had a friend in common… It wasn’t much but it was enough of a link, I have a friend who’s brother might have gone to college with this stalker. So I emailed him and said “I don’t know you well or if you keep in touch with this person but tell him I am contacting the authorities and he must stop.” The friend denied any contact with him but the stalking stopped either way. Until last week.
He emailed me at my YouTube account. There are some comments on my videos that are from him. He emailed me about 10 times now and said, amongst other things, that he is good now and that he is not “like John Lennon’s crazy killer” or like Selena’s killer, or like that crazy guy in The Bodyguard. In a second email he said he wasn’t going to kill me. Then… he referenced not killing me again.
I am not sure where this person is right now, I don’t know if he’s in Finland, Venezuela, NY or China. I only know that every time it seems he goes away he comes back saying scarier and scarier things. Mentioning he’s not gonna kill me has put me on the edge and that’s why I need your guys’ eyes.
I’m gathering all the emails from him and filing with the police again, probably a restraining order to serve him though restraining orders are served only if the person approaches me and, in this case, that I know of, most of the contact is online through different profiles he opens and closes right away. Sneaky/tricky.
This person is psychotic and this has not stopped and seem to only have gotten worse. He lives in an alternate reality and he is obsessed with me and thinks we are “The same.” The contact is fewer but really intense and the things he says are very scary.
If you see him report him please. I believe this person to be very dangerous. Thank you guys
I love Kickstarter. I think that’s clear to people who know me by now? I love it. There’s a dude named Brad Muir and he works at Double Fine and I love the games they make, so much. But before Kickstarter, every time a Double Fine game came out I was a little worried it would be their last,…
It’s funny to me that they used that quote as the header…
I found this fella today tied to a bench in Prospect Park. I was taking a jog, and stopped to get him some much needed lunch and a bath. We visited the vet (Animal Kind Veterinary Hospital, 365 7th Ave Brooklyn - they were amazing and so informative) and got him all checked out. His name is Bentley according to his microchip.
He is very friendly and well-behaved, though he needs a little help on the leash. Part of that is probably that he’s only about two years old (vet estimate). We got his shots, some antibiotics for the wear and tear that comes from living on a bench for a few days, and some dog food to get him fattened up. His collar was traded in for a harness (way easier to walk).
He weighs 52.6 lbs, and he’ll get bigger as he eats properly. Right now he’s napping on his new bed, and he’s so freaking cute and wonderful.
But I can’t have a dog right now. As much as I would love to keep him it wouldn’t be fair to him, and it would be irresponsible of me considering my current employment situation (recently fired, not quite freelancing). I’ve contacted Shawn Casey of animal rescue but they are currently full. If any one wants this friendly guy please let me know. You can email me at email@example.com. I will answer any questions you might have. Until then, we’re going to bop along and probably go on some jogs together. Also I’m going to fatten him up properly.
It’s been a long day for me, and a terrible week for Bentley. I hope he gets really healthy and happy. I don’t know about fate, but I think this was supposed to happen today.
We going straight to (when I roll into the) the Wild Wild West (when I stroll into the)
We going straight to (when I bounce into the) the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
I want to tell you to not vote for Romney for a lot of reasons.
I want to remind you how devastatingly dishonest he’s been regarding his own finances. How he basically committed a felony in 2009 which is why he won’t release his tax returns for that year.
How he lied blatantly about the auto…
As part of my ongoing effort to introduce new perspectives to A Year of Billy Joel I have been reaching out to some of the brightest people I know to contribute a few words on something Billy Joel related. Over the upcoming weeks you’ll hear about what Billy Joel means to people and why certain…
Hi! I’m Nikki and I am an addict.
I’ve struggled with various eating disorders since I was ten years old. I started skipping breakfast in fourth grade when Adam Johnston told me I was a “chubby weirdo.” In retrospect, the joke’s on Adam Johnston because he gained sixty pounds after high school and went crazy bald. Regardless, my self-perception went downhill around that time and never really stopped.
In 9th grade, I dropped down to one salad and one Diet Peach Snapple per day, the perfect meal for a mom on-the-go. But not an active teenager. My parents’ solution was to supervise my meals, because, what else are you supposed to do when your high school freshman is going all Gandhi hunger strike on your asses? That worked for awhile, I gained weight, everyone would say things like, “You look less terrifying!” and “You’re still an asshole.” I felt good, but it was hard to forget that I used to fit into size 4 jeans.
At age 21, things really came to a head when I realized I could eat a bunch of bullshit and then just eject it a little later with my index finger. Perfect for the weight-conscious cuisine lover! I felt like a traveling food critic, sampling enormous portions of pasta, nachos, burgers and wings while maintaining a healthy weight. That was fine for a year or two, but eventually I realized if I wanted to actually lose weight, I’d have to work out, too.
Not being half-assed about anything I get involved in, I started going to the gym every day for a minimum of two hours. I made sure to fuel up before I went, with Adderall, a caffeine pill and a Diet Mountain Dew. Obviously the most embarrassing part of this equation is the Mountain Dew, better known as Alabama Bath Water. Guess what?! It worked! I lost about twenty pounds in one month and thought I looked great.
I distinctly remember this moment because it had an impact on me: I walked into my parents’ tv room while my dad was watching a rerun of Gunsmoke, because we’re a stoic family living in the past. As soon as he saw my gaunt frame, he started crying. My dad, the guy watching a cowboy show, was crying. That was the first moment I knew I needed help.
I’d love to say that from that moment on, I stopped starving myself, getting hopped up on pills and working out constantly, but I can’t. I went to a food counselor whose idea of treatment was for me to obsessively journal every single thing I ate. She also wore hideous hot pink lipstick and a perm. How can you take anyone seriously when they don’t even respect their own head? I quit going.
The past few years (I’m 28) have been full of ups and downs in regards to my weight and also depression. Much of this can be attributed to another thing I love to overdo it with, liquor! I guzzle it when I’m happy, I chug it when I’m sad. If it’s around, it’s not for long. About a year ago, I’d all but settled into my fate as the “Semi-Bloated Bulimic Sad Alcoholic.” Every day started feeling more hopeless than the last and my depression and habits were taking its toll on one of the best people on the planet, my husband. I’ll probably never forgive myself fully for what a bag of buttholes I was to him as a result of my own personal dissatisfaction. I finally realized, after yet another huge fight, that I had to fix myself or I was going to be a semi-bloated, bulimic, sad, LONELY alcoholic. That’s the worst and grossest kind to be, btw.
I decided last fall to go back to school. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself. Not only am I using my brain in a productive way, I do not have a disposable income with which to down a handle of vodka and $20 of takeout each night. I decided to become a vegetarian and this has been one of the healthiest choices I’ve made in a long time. I haven’t gorged or vomited in about two months, which is my longest streak since I started in the barfin’ business.
Why did I post this self-indulgent, incoherent memoir, you may be thinking. As an active member of Twitter and well, the internet, I see food addiction manifest itself in various forms all the time. Food addiction is typically a symptom of depression, which far too often goes untreated. I can see the pain behind the jokes and I understand it. I wish that we could all just agree to stop obsessing on food but that will never happen because America. So many of our thoughts, actions, and emotions are linked to food. I decided I had selfishly hidden my eating disorder for long enough. Maybe if we were all more open about our problems, we could take a deep breath of relief and work toward a solution.
If you have an eating disorder, please get help or try to find a routine that works for you. I know I’ll always be obsessed with food, now it’s just a matter of channeling it in a healthy way. I’ve done irreparable damage to my body over the years and have seen friends go through the same thing. I want us all to be healthy, I want us to live long lives and most importantly, I want us all to be happy. I love all you shitheads.